Image courtesy of Keith Parkinson |
Image courtesy of Brett Booth and IFS |
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Delighting in her domestic tranquility after Eriond assumes his god-hood, Polgara is spending a nice evening in the kitchen, preparing a goose for Durnik and the twins, who will be returning home in a few hours. So when she is snapped out of her reverie by a knock on the door, her violet eyes snap tight with suspicion.
“No, Father,” she calls out, making her way to the door, “you can’t come in and soak up more of my ale…”
But at the door isn’t Belgarath. It’s Ontrose–the Wacite Arend she almost gave up her destiny for.
The Wacite Arend who died to save her.
“But…how is this possible?” she gasps, surprised and shocked in a way she hadn’t felt since Durnik was killed by Zedar.
“Polll-gaaa-raaa,” Ontrose moans, as if trying to speak for the first time in a millennium.
“Ontrose–my love!” she says. “Is it really you?”
Before he can answer, though, she feels herself being grabbed from behind and hip-tossed back into her living room. Looking up from the floor, she’s surprised to see a woman in her house, dressed so brazenly that she would have made the Nadrak Vella seem like a schoolmarm in comparison.
Worse than that, though–this woman’s tracked mud onto her pristine floors.
Summoning her will, Polgara shouts “Push!”, slamming the woman against the far wall. She’s apparently been trained to take a hit–and a fall–because she bounces back up rather quickly. The woman reaches up to the back of her head, though, and comes away with blood on her fingers.
“Is that all you got, heathen?”
“Heathen? I am a disciple of Aldur, one of the seven gods! Who the hell are you?”
“I’m Anita Blake–and your seven gods are an affront to Jesus.”
“Who?”
With a snarl, Anita launches herself at Polgara, who once again draws on her will. “Freeze!”
Anita, in mid-jump, stops as if trapped in place. Polgara smiles.
“Want to play again, Anita?” she says archly.
Yet even as she says it, she can feel herself getting weaker–almost as if her power is getting drained. She reaches deep inside to tap her will, but she only touches hollowness.
And she has forgotten about Ontrose.
His strong arms enfold her, and she looks in horror as Anita comes out of the stasis she had been caught in, not a scratch on her.
“But…how…?” the sorceress asks, slowly fading.
“I sucked your power away to heal myself.” Anita smiled. “I drank your milkshake.”
Polgara, confused and weakened, finally gets her wish: Living out the rest of her life in the arms of the first man she loved–as he slowly crushes her.
Predicted Winner: Anita Blake
(Polgara is a character from David Eddings’ Belgariad series and other Eddings books; Anita Blake is a character from Laurell K. Hamilton’s Anita Blake series.)
i’m not really familiar with either of these characters but the picture of anita blake depicts her with an awesome rockin ass and, as so many people point out “this is a high school popularity contest.” so in the spirit of that i voted for the hotter chick.
I am familiar with both characters. I was sorely tempted to vote for Anita, because she is the best example ever of an overly-powerful Mary Sue. But her power is almost completely derived from sex. Meaning that she has to be having sex for a large amount of her powers to work to capacity.
Polgara is not subjected to that kind of limit. She has magic at her disposal, whereas Anita’s powers are more psychic in nature. I think that the battle would be close, but Polgara would take it in the end.
Is “awesome rockin” a euphemism for “very large”?
Don’t forget that Anita’s other weakness is that she isn’t beautiful because she’s not blonde and blue-eyed. SO YOU SEE SHE ISN’T PERFECT.
in a reply to both. yes “awesome rockin” is a euphemism for “very large” which really needs no euphemism when it comes to booty. even white boys got to shout when they see anita. and given the above picture i’d say its a virtual lock that anita is having sex cause she’s friggin hot. so her powers are at full capacity and she wins.
Dude, Polgara is going to SCHOOL her. She’s what? Some kind of vampire chicky? Polgara has the Will and the Word.
she’d just look at Anita Blake be all like, “Lose.” and she’d lose.
As long as there are no men around to feed Anita’s power. I think Polgara could take her. Anita’s no longer the powerhouse she used to be.
So we are talking about a woman who is counted as one of the most beautiful people ever alive on her world, the same woman who turned a vapid queen into a giant snake, who called down storm and lightning to defeat an army in battle, who cursed a warlock to eternal live and that nobody would ever believe one word he said, against a chick who kills vampires for a living? My money is on Polgara.
Anita is just a wet dream come true, while Polgara has class and style that this Mary Sue will never have.
I voted for the nice butt, sorry. Plus, Anita can reflect powers back upon to her attacker, so um, yeah, how does she lose to a wizard? Still, the butt was the deciding factor as neither of these characters appeal to me all that much.
If whoever wrote this thinks Polgara’s power could be drained so fast… they obviously never read the books. Not to mention she is WAYYY too smart to fall for something silly like a lover returning to life. And getting attacked in the Vale? No way.
“Reed Richards called and he wants his hair back” is the funniest thing I’ve read on this site.
Oh, and Polgara kicks the the crap out of Anita’s psuedo-undead tuchas.
Polgara vs Anita Blake, Vampire H*mper??
Please. Polgara, hands down. Even after Anita became the supercharged Mary Sue she’s devolved down to, she’s going up against the Disciple of a God, one of the most talented Sorceresses of her time, (not to mention married to ANOTHER Disciple, and the daughter of two other Disciples)
The same woman who turned a queen into a snake, raised a godslayer, turned away demons, and found the strength to defy another God, going up against an animator who’s main power comes from whoever she’s boinking at that time??
Assuming that Polgara didn’t use the Will and the Word to transport Anita halfway around the world, she would have turned Anita into something more useful before Anita could gather her powers up.
Anita is outgunned, outclassed, and way out of her league here.
the reason I comment on this despite having not read on anita is that the description severely skewed strongly misrepresenting Polgara. this lady has been around 3000 years, witnessed more pain and suffering than anita could possibly fathom even in her line of work. she wouldn’t swoon over a lost love even if we disregarding her new love. if anything it would drive her to a raging inferno of anger, and you don’t mess with polgara when she’s angry. She’s sentimental, but never lets her guard down, she does what needs to be done.
I’ve read everything by the original authors about both of these women and this is not even a contest. I mean, seriously, the trampy sex kitten doesn’t stand a chance against Aunt Pol. And the descriptions posted of each are VERY misleading. Polgara would win this fight tied upside down over a raging fire with both hands tied behind her back and blindfolded, literally. Only if you did all that and then gagged her would it even start to be a fair fight for the slutbag, Anita.
The person who wrote the fight description forgot one thing, and probably missed the isninuation on another. One, Polgara can also call on the dead, if in spirit only. She does so to introduce Garion to his parents and her twin sister. So dead spirits don’t get to her. Second, while not explicitly stated, the Eddings implied that Durnik is Ontrose reincarnated. So, yeah. Anita loses. Polgara has been dealing with sluts her entire life. No surprises there.
I voted for Anita partially because it’s plausible, but mostly because Eddings’ cliched, tortured prose are the fantasy equivalent of Valium.
To be honest, I’m surprised it didn’t devolve into lesbian sex though.
I agree, better ass wins.
I voted for Anita because I love this character and her power. In addition to that I don’t like Eddings’book!
Anita smiled. “I drank your milkshake.”
She wins, just for that.
I hated to do it but I ended up voting for Anita. I never read the book(s) ivolving the other character but I read Anita Blake up until the book that came after that crap called Narcissus in Chains. Anyway I was going to give the other girl the vote just so Anita would get her but kicked especially after the whole Jesus comment in the dialouge. Then I couldn’t as much as I don’t like the character she is a god-like being herself. Mostly though my vote is out of disgust really so I’m not quite sure it should count.
Just to point out to all those who are using the “junk in the trunk” argument for Anita over Polgara: Belgarath was always teasing her about her large posterior, which she was very conscious of.
Still, I’m glad this is one Cage Match Sir Mix-A-Lot would champion.
First–do we really need to call Anita a slut? Isn’t losing bad enough?
Second, though: Polgara does show Garion his parents, and Ran Borune his wife, but they aren’t corporeal–they’re images. And Ran Borune pretty much died of shock when he saw Ce’Nedra’s mom, so I’m not buying that she’s “immune” to dealing with dead people.
And even if Durnik is Ontrose re-incarnated (which I’d love a page number on that), it would still be a shock to see someone you weren’t expecting (since they’ve been dead for 2000 years) show up at your door. And I think, in the end, Anita’s powers are perfectly suited to deal with Polgara’s, especially if she’s not exactly in her right mind.
So there.
I’m not really familiar at all with Anita Blake, but I have read one of Edding’s books. One was enough. Second-worst book I ever read, the Bible being no. 1!!
I’m going to buy a LKH novel off Amazon right now so that I can see just how superior an author she is to that Eddings freak.
You go, Nita!!
I have fond memories of the Belgariad from when I was a kid, though with every single Eddings book I read after I became more and more frustrated with them apparently only being able to write one single character with optional superficial changes.
Still… cage match, and The Will and The Word is so overpowered is retarded. Once the Eddingses invented the Necessity to explain away why shit didn’t get insta-fixed… because that made more sense than just gimping the magic. Brilliant. BUUUUT them’s the breaks. The necessity wouldn’t weight in on the fight, so Pol could essentially do ANYTHING except instantly obliterate Anita. That’s kind of a lot to work with.
Polgara vs. Anita+Wolf+Vampire sex toy …okay. We’ll give it to the Triumvirate but Anita wouldn’t have won that match – the sheer shock of Jean Claude and the Blonde guy would have .
However, this is NOT Polgara vs. Triumvirate. This is Polgara vs. Anita.
I’d like to go on about how Anita can’t win this battle but I’ll try to be brief:
Unless Anita can “Summon Boyfriends” like Kahlan could “Summon Husband”, she gets schooled.
ooooh clever. another atheist slipping in an anti-God comment. seriously atheists are as bad as the religious nuts who proselytize on every friggin youtube video they come across. we get it…you don’t believe in God. give it a rest.
And that’s the end of that chapter!
Make sure to check out (and vote…and comment!) on the next match featuring Polgara–this time versus Temeraire:
http://wp.suvudu.com/2010/03/cage-match-2010-round-2-7-temeraire-versus-10-polgara-the-sorceress.html