Yes, I just went there.
Check out the Cage Match Commentators as they go over the (surprising? not surprising?) results of the final four, the epic championship battle, and the–dun da da DA!–consolation match.
All hands on deck! Are you handy with jokes? Think you can handle being a part of the Cage Match Comedy Show? Post your “hand” puns below (keep it clean, please!) and we may feature your joke in the Championship recap video.
-
You Cast Star Wars: Heir to the Empire
-
Manga & Graphic Novels
-
Cage Match–2012!
-
Tim Zahn’s “Judge’s Call”
-
50 Page Fridays
-
Star Wars: Lost Tribe of the Sith collection
22 Responses to “Cage Match 2010: You have to *hand* it to them…”
Leave a Comment
New Releases
-
Star Wars: Darth Plagueis
James Luceno -
Star Wars: The Millennium Falcon Owner's Workshop Manual
Ryder Windham, Chris Reiff, and Chris Trevas -
Embassytown
China Mieville -
Mass Effect: Deception
William C. Dietz -
Star Wars: Shadow Games
Michael Reaves and Maya Kaathryn Bohnhoff -
The Human Blend
Alan Dean Foster -
Star Wars: The Old Republic: Revan
Drew Karpyshyn -
Star Wars: Riptide
Paul S. Kemp
Hey guys, how about George rr martin’s request to do the match westeros style 7 vs 7?
Let me know if you guys need a hand writing the battle!
@Andres
There’s only a handful of characters that could do any good in that style.
Rand is going to HAND kingslayer an ass kicking… balfire bithches
A witty joke? Let’s see… I got nothin’. I’m stumped.
Jaime wins tidily. If we’ve seen anything here, it’s that perceptions definitely matter. Jaime simply looks and acts the part.
I mean, he’s definitely a much more HANDsome hero.
…I am never going to say that ever again.
I suppose this result was inevitable when they said the contestants would have to fight it out single-handedly.
Andres, check out Rand’s response to Jaime’s challenge here. This will be a fight to remember.In the meantime, everyone keep handing over those puns!
They are both pretty handy with a sword.
Kuh-Vothe.
The first sound is like KVetch.
Pat’s talked about this a million times. the character’s name is not Quothe.
Both these characters are pretty wealthy, they won’t be wearing hand-me-down armor, that’s for sure.
Rand
Shaidar Haran (better hope they have overhead lighting in the cage or any shadow is fair game.)
Padan Fain (still alive after 12 books. stakes fades to doors.)
Moridin (if anyone’s willing to kill the pattern to win, it’s him.)
Lan (Could take Jamie on his own, and if he does die then the entire borderlands will come to avenge him.)
Mat (beat two master swordsmen at once while very sick. Luckiest man alive. Survived fight with gholam.)
Nynaeve (Can channel in stedding. Very powerful at attacking or healing. Won’t let Lan, Mat, or Rand die.)
Jaime entered the hotel hopping on one leg, the only remaining limb available to him. A shocked Tyrion enquired “What happened? Wasn’t the assassin’s guild willing to take out a contract on Rand?”
“Yes, they killed him all right….but it cost me an arm and a leg!”
Sorry folks
There was a young man called Rand
Whose demise was carefully pland
By Jaime Lannister
And his evil twin sister
Who specialised in methods underhand
A one-handed mercenaree
Slew all his foes in a melee
When asked, with no arm
How he caused such great harm
He replied “Oh, I used my hands-free”
can you all stop with the puns!?
seriously, this is getting out of hand.
I’ve really got to hand it to rand, he has proved himself quite handy. Ive been handing him my support even though the typing has cause pain in my hand. Looking through the books, by hand, as to why Rand should hand Jaime his golden hand on a pile of his families hands and handily came up with this handy answer, Rand is cooler by a hand and a stump.
Bow before my handiwork and kneel in awe!
“Kuh-Vothe.
The first sound is like KVetch.
Pat’s talked about this a million times. the character’s name is not Quothe.”
I’ve never heard Pat talk. So I and many others simply go by the very first sentence of the book: “My name is Kvothe, pronounced nearly the same as ‘quothe.’”
Get over yourself.
… The character portrayal of Rand at this site is incredibly inaccurate. Obviously whoever is writing him up hasn’t read a lick of wheel of time and if they have they really should be ashamed of themselves.
Do R.J some bloody justice and give the man the credit he deserves. Rand’s character development in the series is nothing short of phenomenal. You’re portrayal of him is insulting. If you are going to insult the man, as least put some damn effort into it!
Rand broods for book after book after book, but I must admit, it isn’t his brooding that made me want to come back and buy the next book in the series. (come to think of it, the only thing that made me come back and read/listen WoT was the fact that someone picked up the torch posthumously…but that’s another story).
Anyway, a show of hands t Suvudu for finding humor in Rand’s character again, he was getting despicably dull and predictable, and I still haven’t come to grips with his “giddy” new self yet, either. So silly, boyish Rand (who likes snacks)? Still OK in my book.
Ya, plus it’s kinda hard to pronounce for many (as David showed in an earlier wrapup) because it’s fairly difficult to pronounce the name the same way twice. Cool name, but give him a break. You’ve got to hand it to him, he was close enough. (Had to get at least one in there, no matter how bad it was…)
I must agree, this new Rand is quite amusing.
Let’s give these people a hand for creativity.
Although, I confess, I rather enjoyed some of the conversations he had with Lews Therin…
First off Kvothe should have won against Jaime.
He’s fighting with his off-hand! But the majority would see Jaime as a better swordsman as Kvothe hasn’t shown any abilities altho it was hinted at.
Ah well too bad I read about this so late or I would have gathered my friends to ensure the proper outcome!
Kvothe beats Drizzt!
Rand will annihilate Jaime with or w/o sword and Tyrion can’t do diddly squat.
how can kvothe beat drizzt when drizzt is a brilliant swordsman and kvothe is too dull to care about anything