This week, writer Matt Staggs has graciously surrendered his
account to a small group of guest bloggers. Today marks the third of
four entries from these writers.
Would you look at this rash? I think it’s infected, and it’s fabulous. Don’t worry sweetness, there’s plenty to go around. My name is Pestilence, and I believe Sharing is Caring.
War and Death may have had you running scared, but unlike those two brutes, I like to take things nice and slow. I’m old fashioned. Why rush to the – ahem – main course when there’s so many other special things we can share? You know that first little tickle at the back of your throat? The one that can only mean you’re getting a cold? That’s me. Same thing with that odd-looking mole on your back. Melanoma? Mel-o-DRAMA! There’s no reason for our dance to end so quickly: I see Death and those furtive glances he’s giving you…I’m such a jealous lover.
I do have my faults, though. I haven’t always been so old-fashioned. I
was so promiscuous in the Dark Ages. Remember the Black Death? Guilty!
You just couldn’t stop me: men, women, young and old, all of them felt
my hot embrace, my heart-stopping kisses. It was a different age.
Things are different now. There are things out there that can stop me
in my tracks! Antibiotics are such a turn-off. Same goes for all of
that stem cell research. Yuck. And health care reform? Darling, don’t
get me started. Thank goodness that I have so many wonderful politicians
fighting the good fight on my behalf. Free and equal access to health
care? What ever would I do?
Well, I suppose I’ve taken enough of your precious time. Catch you
later? No, you catch me later…
