The television is on, and it’s exactly like Imagination Land was invaded. All the big names are there: Skeletor, Cobra Commander, Mumm-ra, Freddy Kreuger, Lex Luthor, Venom, and Richard Nixon.
There evil incarnate–which is pretty funny, considering they call themselves Evil Incorporated (upsetting both Disney and Brad Guigar–until they were wiped off the face of the planet by Cobra Vipers and Henry Kissinger, respectively). The world is now theirs, a world won with blood and terror. Your soul is cringing as the darkness has spread to every corner of the planet–even the penguins are under their iron grasp.
But it’s the person standing front-and-center on-screen that scares you the most, because you just didn’t see it coming. How could you? It’s not like she gave any indication at having evil designs on world domination. And yet, when you look back, all the signs were there:
• Widespread global distribution
• A catchy message
• Appeal to male and female demographics of all ages
It was, in fact, brilliant. She insinuated herself into your home and heart, and now she’s collected the most impressive group of villains known to man. She prepares to speak, and you start to tremble.
“People of Earth–bow to your new queen, nay, your new empress!
“Bow to me, and then spread the word to those who dare defy my whims. Let others know that I am their ruler…and that they are my chattel.
“You all know my ‘7 Things’ plan–and you know what happens to those who disobey.
“Tell them that Miley Cyrus delights in their tears!”
What do you do?
1. Put on “Party in the USA” and start dancing like it’s your favorite song. Hope that it makes this uncomfortable situation feel better.
2. Find the Jonas Bros. and see if they know if she has any weaknesses.
3. Punch Billy Ray Cyrus in the face. Choose a reason.
4. Write to Alan Moore and see if he knows some heroes that are even more morally dubious than Evil Incorporated.
What do you do after Evil Incorporated take over?survey software
my best friend Leslie said… she was just bein’ Miley!
Come on, you didn’t see that coming? I’ve been warnig people she’s the antichrist for years now.
It just doesn’t make sense any other way you think about it.
Hate to burst the bubble. She is the reflection of nearly every pre-teen with ambition in the country. Party in the USA!
And that doesn’t scare the hell out of you? Ambition + appeal + widespread reach = World Domination.