Five Things You Can Learn from Faeries

When I was asked to write an article for Faerie Week, I was frankly a little nervous. Faeries have been around a long time, in our myths, our legends, and sometimes in our cupboards. It would be hard to do them justice in one short blog post. But if there was one thing I’ve learned about faeries, it’s that they are never shy about lending a helping hand.
I knew exactly what to do. The same thing I did last time, when I sat down to write A Practical Guide to Faeries! I made asked Faerie Guide Emeritus Pip Puddlejump Impirae Pioneer Playful Prankster Panishee (the REAL author of A Practical Guide to Faeries, as the Library of Congress will tell you–no joke!) to help me. She’s the nicest, smartest, prettiest, most eloquent faerie in all the Feywild, and I told her how much everyone here was a really big fan (note: you are all REALLY BIG FANS), and she couldn’t WAIT to help me come up with five things you can learn from faeries.

Five Things You Can Learn from Faeries (According to Pip and Susan)
1. Compliments will get you everywhere. Want a faerie to help you? Be SURE to tell her how great she is first! This works on children, husbands, and pets as well. Pip: See how Susan complimented me? That’s good. Good human! Nice human! Pretty human! Want a sticky bun? Susan: Yes, actually– Pip: Too bad! I ate it. Good thing it’s the thought that counts.
2. Keep your house clean for unexpected visitors. Faeries are attracted to clean rooms so if you want one to drop by, you must keep things neat. One of the cutest letters I received was from a mother who was telling me about how A Practical Guide to Faeries inspired her daughter to keep her room clean! Hey, whatever works! Pip: Yeah, you humans are such pigs! Disgusting! Leaving mountains of your ginormous, smelly, ugly-looking human clothes everywhere . . .
3. Be a good person. The most common house faeries are brownies, but they will never play with people who lie, steal, brag, or lay around all day doing nothing. So if you want to . . .
Pip: Blahblahblah. You’re boring! No one cares about cleaning their house, giving compliments, and being a little goody two-shoes! I could do this way better than you. Move over and give me the keyboard. I’ll tell them how it really is.
3. The most important thing in life is having fun. Everything else is details! And that means taking any excuse to celebrate. Like Pixie Appreciation Day next week , for instance! Susan: But that’s not even a real holiday! Pip: Does that mean you don’t appreciate pixies? *pout* Susan: That’s not what I mean at . . . Pip: Any excuse!
4. Everything is better when there’s chocolate and honey, and sticky buns, and . . . I’m starving! Susan: Faeries are especially fond of milk, which they can never get on their own. Pip: You try milking a cow when you’re three inches tall! Susan: But you should never take sweets from strange faeries. Bring your own human food to eat. Pip: That’s just because our food is so awesome that when you humans eat it, you can’t stand that slop you call food anymore! Susan: What about that time with “fartsy Franny and the fudge muffins”? Pip: Oh yeah. Also, sometimes we enchant our food as part of a prank. You should watch out for that–it’s really funny!
5. Size DOESN’T matter! You tall people are just bigger targets. Believe it! Susan: Also, some faeries, like spriggans, become giants when enraged. Pip:Besides, it’s not like it takes muscle to do magic. Susan: The biggest attitude and heart can fit in the smallest packages. Physical size has nothing to do with it. Pip: Yeah! And if you doubt it, I’ll see you in the Stickyball Game Fields!

And there you have it! Five things you can learn from faeries for your everyday life. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m late for a stickyball game. And some chocolate.