Hear ye, hear ye. Today this court brings before you the infamous necromancer, erstwhile detective and cultivator of low spirits Johannes Cabal, whose various infamies have been recorded in two volumes, Johannes Cabal the Necromancer and Johannes Cabal the Detective, by that scribbler of dubious repute, Jonathan L. Howard.
Our inquisition begins here at Suvudu, and will continue via a chain of participating blogs. Check here throughout the day for links to the rest of the inquisition of Johannes Cabal.
State your name, as well as any aliases you may use, for our record, foul miscreant.
My name, as you well know, is Johannes Cabal. As for “foul miscreant,” you are perfectly correct, of course. I am a stain upon the conscience of the world, and I should be hunted down and exterminated without hesitation or mercy. The three aliases I always use are “Detective Inspector Horace Malvern of Scotland Yard’s Counter Necromancy Unit,” the “Pope,” and… pardon me, what did you say your name was again?
That is not your concern, warlock. What is your occupation? How have you made your filthy lucre, Mr. Cabal?
I am a scientist, specifically a specialist in revivification. To vulgar minds, such as those of your readers, a necromancer. If by “filthy lucre,” you mean “money” I made it quite accidentally. Apparently carnivals can actually turn a substantial profit when your overheads are, well… zero.
It is my understanding that a record of your misdeeds has been recorded in not one, but two, texts. What are the names of these volumes, so that our inquisitors may seek them out and have them burned?
As Sherlock Holmes has Watson to record his exploits, I have somebody called “Jonathan L. Howard.” Unlike Holmes, I do not have this scribbler to hand, which is just as well for him. So far he has defamed me in two books Johannes Cabal the Necromancer and Johannes Cabal the Detective, plus a handful of equally vile short stories. Yes, these books should be burned, I agree. I suggest that everybody reading this buys a dozen copies and burns them thoroughly. Then buys another dozen to burn too. Continue until your bank balance is depleted, or until this “Howard” learns his lesson, whichever comes first.