Ahoy, mateys and scallawags, Tis Talk Like a PIrate Day here at the good ship Suvudu, so let’s hoist the Jolly Roger and set sail for plunder!
Our first bit of swag goes to the younglings amongst the crew.
A Pirate’s Guide to First Grade by James Preller is a must-have for the piratically-inclined young scholar. What, me hearty? You balk at an education? Even the saltiest sea dog must know his ciphers, lest he be cheated of his fair share by unscrupulous shipmates. Even an old pirate such as me remembers the awful trepidation o’ sailing into the uncharted waters called grade school, an’ a book such as this woulda put me much at ease. Summarizing it as such for ye landlubbers, tis the story of a young lad’s first day o’ school, accompanied as he is by a hearty group of invisible pirates. Tis highly recommended for little nippers and their ma’s and pa’s.
Perhaps you’ve got a junior shipmate, maybe a cabin boy or girl a bit too old for the aforementioned title? Fair ’nuff. Maybe they’ll be interested in The Unsinkable Walker Bean. Tis what ye’d call a graphic novel, I s’pose. Finely illustrated, and a great rolling cannonball o’ fun. Generous with laughs and fantastical adventure. Lo, Walker Bean be a landlubber and a bit of a yellowbelly crimped into the pirate’s life in order to rescue his gran’daddy, a legendary plunderer and buccaneer his ownself. Let me not steer ye’ wrong, matey. Though it sets its targets on a young audience, even a old salt such as meself found it a fine, fine read.
Tis time to consider a bit o’ fiction for the adults, perhaps of the more literary variety. Try if ye’ will Terese Svoboda’s Pirate Talk or Mermalade. Publisher Dzang Books truly knows their way ’round these water, for it were released just days ago, just in time for this blessed day. PIrate Talk or Mermalade tis a novel in voices ’bout two brothers who meet a mermaid, fall into pirating, and end up in the Arctic. Tis cunningly written in dialogue only. What a perfect read for this rum-sotted afternoon!
Maybe ye don’t want to spend yer whole day with yonder brothers. Aye, aye. Find yerself an entire crew of pirate adventurers in Ann and Jeff VanderMeer’s fiction anthology Fast Ships, Black Sails. I heartily recommend it.
What’s a matter thar, dogfish? Ye lookin’ a might glum. Fiction not be yer thing? Made of harder stuff, are ye? Perhaps ye might like to thrill to stories daring and true? Tis okay, I keep the harder stuff in the cap’ns quarters. Follow me, matey!
Take a draught of Seized by Max Hardberger. The real thing, he is, a salty old seadog and hard as nails. An adventurer, lawyer, writer, pilot and captain, Hardberger recovers seized freighters for a living, testing his wits and might against real, bloodthirsty pirates and unscrupulous governments ’round the world. Seized be his story!
Coming back up for more, are ye? Aaaarrrr, color me impressed, squib. Let’s see ye knock back some o’ this fiery grog. Let me blow some o’ the dust off the label fer ye. Empire of Blue Water by Stephen Talty tis the true tale of the infamous Captain Morgan (no, ye addlepated flounder, not the rum!) and his ragtag crew and their reign o’ terror in yon Caribbean waters. Tis the real-life Jack Sparrow, he is!
Me hopes this plunder puts ye right for this fine day, but for now I must depart. Fair winds, to you, buckos. Meself? I’m grabbin’ a bottle of Kraken Rum an’ settin’ sail!