Andy Behrman’s memoir Electroboy reads like something out of a comic book: globetrotting, high-powered millionaire jets around the world pursuing life’s most exotic thrills, never realizing that the source of his power is toxic until it all comes crashing down. However, Behrman was no superhero – although he did feel like one at times. He was in the grip of bipolar disorder, or as it is commonly known, Manic-Depression.
His manic episodes gave him incredible energy, but at a price. Impulsiveness became his calling card: blowing thousands of dollars on spur of the moment trips around the world was nothing. He took risks, looking for illicit thrills in dark corners around the globe. He eventually fell to its overwhelming power when he got involved with forging art. It was a step too far, but one that may have saved his life.
A story like Behrman’s deserves to be told. Will you listen?
Dr. Kay Redfield-Jamison, author of An Unquiet Mind and Touched with Fire: Manic-Depressive Illness and the Artistic Temperament, believes that there is a connection between creativity and mania. What do you think? Was this true for you? Have you noticed anything like that moving through the circles you have?
I agree with Dr. Jamison that there is a clear connection between creativity and mania. If you look back into history, so many poets, writers, artists, musicians and actors did their best work when they were truly in a manic state. There was Sylvia Plath, Ernest Hemingway, Van Gogh and Kurt Cobain, just to name a few. The artist with bipolar disorder may not have a monopoly on innovation and creativity but some of the most unique and original art, music, and literature has been created by people who suffer with mental illness and experience mania. And as far as my own work is concerned, much of my book about my experience with bipolar disorder, Electroboy, was written during highly manic periods where I would work two days straight without any sleep. And many of my creative friends do their best work when they are manic or hypomanic.
When did you experience your first manic episode? Were they ever beneficial as far as your career goes? I’ve know some people whose manic episodes gave them the energy – at least at first – to allow them to climb to high places in their careers.
I experienced my first full-blown manic episode in my late twenties when I was working as an art dealer for a contemporary artist and I started counterfeiting his work all around the world, making millions of dollars and thinking nothing of the consequences. I would fly from New York to Paris to Tokyo – - I was unstoppable. At the same time, this energy also allowed me to multi-task: I was also doing public relations for other clients, working on entrepreneurial projects and making films. If someone had given me the opportunity to run for Congress, I would have taken them up on it.
Was there anything about your manic episodes that seemed unreal or almost science fiction-esque? Did you enjoy the episodes, and did youever have moments where you realized something wasn’t quite right?
Oh, absolutely. There was almost nothing about my mania that could be connected to reality so it all seemed like fantasy or like living on another planet. I was a super hero not only in my own mind but also in the mind of other people because they were impressed with my talents. I can describe some of the scariest moments of mania like walking a tight rope without a net underneath me and that’s when I realized I couldn’t possibly be a super hero. I’ve never thought about it, but when my first website was designed, there was a little character called Electroboy who looked just like a mini-super hero. And many people think Electroboy is the name of either a science fiction character or a super hero.
I understand that mania took you to some pretty extreme places. You roamed around the world looking for the perfect high. You also spent a lot of money, and eventually ran afoul of the law. Did you have any experiences that even now leave you questioning how you survived it all?
Everything you describe (which I describe in Electroboy) is true. I roamed the PLANET looking for the perfect high whether it was the best sushi in the north of Japan, the most gorgeous beach in Fiji or the most risky “fun” in Amsterdam. And I spent tons of money in search of these highs. And it’s important to mention that these highs were also fueled by combinations of prescriptions drugs, alcohol and street drugs. As far as how I survived these experiences, many of which put my life in jeopardy, my perspective never disappeared entirely and I was constantly looking at myself from outside my body and checking and double checking that I wouldn’t end up dead.
Electro-convulsive therapy (or “shock therapy”) played a key role in your journey to stability and health, yet it remains a trope in many horror movies. People have a lot of misconceptions about it. Would you mind telling me about your own experiences?
Electroconvulsive therapy or ECT does not look like it was portrayed in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest or in Frances Farmer. I can’t say I wasn’t scared to death before my first treatment to have 200 volts of electricity sent through my brain, but I was under anesthesia and it was painless. However, when I woke up, not only was my memory temporarily “screwed up,” but I experienced tremendous aches throughout my body. I had nineteen treatments and I believe my doctor would have continued “shocking” me for life, but I realized I was stable enough to go back to medication and therapy. I can’t even watch ECT being performed in films. It’s just too frightening. And I should say, I am opposed to forced ECT and it’s still rampant in this country today.
Speaking of misconceptions, I’d love to discuss a few here. I always find it irritating when horror, fantasy and science fiction depict people with mental illness as monsters. If you were to give prospective writers some advice on humanizing their portrayals of the mentally ill, what would that be?
Aren’t we monsters? I’m kidding. But the public perceives those of us with mental illness, usually schizophrenia or bipolar disorder, as murderers, molesters, robbers and thieves and this is what we also see in horror, fantasy and science fiction. It’s that we’re misunderstood and people think we’re out of control and can implode like monsters at any moment. My best advice is to spend an evening with one of the craziest people that some journalist have written about – - myself – - while I’m with my daughters, serving lunch at their school, hanging out at a park or just doing regular everyday things. But I’ve always been aware that people, since the publication of Electroboy, have shied away from me, not knowing what I may do or say. And that’s called stigma and we’re still fighting it.
So what are you doing now? I heard that you’re an advocate and educator, and that you’re still writing. Where can people find you online?
I spend quite a bit of time traveling around the country and Canada speaking about mental health awareness and suicide prevention. Most of my talks are to college students but I also speak to mental health care professionals and self help groups. I’m working on two new books, both of which are connected to Electroboy. And at the same time, I’m working with Actor/Producer/Director Julie Waner (she starred in Doc Hollywood and Mr. Saturday Night) on a television pilot for which I have high hopes.
I can be found online at www.electroboy.com or on Twitter @electroboyusa
