By now, you either think this list is pretty decent, or you’re wondering if I’ve ever even watched Doctor Who (How could she not pick Kylie Minogue for #1??). When I first proposed the idea, I wondered how many Christmas-themed episodes in the series’s 48-year history there were. So, I consulted my friend Warren, whom I call Professor Emeritus of Who Studies at the Who-niversity of Who. As it turns out, the previous Doctors didn’t spend their time worrying about Christmas. I guess when time is relative, hitting December 25th is a crapshoot. In space, no one can hear you shake jingle bells.
Professor W pointed out, however, that there is one holiday episode from the early series that features the very first Doctor, played by William Hartnell. Titled “The Feast of Steven” it was Part Seven in the arc called The Daleks’ Master Plan. As it aired on Christmas Day, it was a lighter, more whimsical episode that had little to do with the plot—in those days, not everyone gathered to watch our dear Time Lord. (Can you imagine?) At the show’s end, after giving a toast, the Doctor turns to the camera and wishes a Happy Christmas to viewers at home. Now for the heartbreak: Because it was a kind of standalone, and couldn’t really be sold to other countries, the BBC wiped the videotape masters and it became the first of the fabled “lost” episodes. Thankfully, the audio tracks survive and, a few years ago, were set to animation, which you can see on YouTube.
The First Doctor wishing you a Happy Christmas
I wanted to give another honorable mention to the 1996 Doctor Who television movie, starring Paul McGann as the Eight Doctor. While it didn’t air on Christmas Day, nor was it a “Christmas Special,” the movie is set in San Francisco on New Year’s Eve, 1999—I believe a few scenes have a Christmas tree in the background. It is available on DVD and is certainly worth a look. The Extras, detailing the storied history of the original series and its slow fade from the public, are certain to delight hardcore fans, and it’s easy to see how this movie served to keep the mythology afloat until Russell T. Davies revived the series in 2005.
Back to our countdown. Here’s where we are so far:
And the number one Doctor Who Christmas Special, as determined by me is . . . sonic drumroll, please . . .
#1: The Christmas Invasion or “But We Just Got Used to Eccleston!”
It’s Christmas Eve. A big blue box comes crashing down from the sky and into Jackie Tyler’s backyard. Her daughter, Rose, has been traveling with the Doctor and that familiar “whoosing” sound she hears can only mean her baby girl has returned home.
The thing is, the man who emerges from the TARDIS looks nothing like the man known as the (Ninth) Doctor—even if he is wearing his clothes. (Incidentally, I always thought Christopher Eccleston’s leather jacket was kinda hot.) Yet the tall, skinny, quirky man before her is indeed the Doctor, he’s just regenerated into David Tennant. This doesn’t sit well with Rose who’d gotten used to the man with the Northern accent. In fact, she’s so depressed, I can only imagine that she’s listening to Adele’s “21” and crying whenever she’s off-camera.
Shhh. Never wake a sleeping Doctor.
Also off-camera for much of the episode: the Doctor. All that regenerating into a new form really wipes you out. While he’s sleeping it off in Jackie’s bedroom, the Sycorax, an exoskeleton alien race, are coming to claim planet Earth as one of their own. And they’re not exactly bringing gold, frankincense, and myrrh. Instead, they’re rounding up and controlling everyone with A-positive blood-type, which they’ve obtained from a Mars space probe, and sending them to the rooftops of London to await orders to take a dive. Even Harriet Jones, Prime Minister, asking them to cool their jets on Christmas Day isn’t enough for them to back down.
This episode also marked the first appearance of the psycho-Santas who later showed up in The Runaway Bride. Called “Pilot Fish,” these scavengers are in search of the good Doctor and all that galactic energy he keeps belching up every hour or so. They’ve even sent in a wicked whirling Christmas Tree of Death to try and take out Rose, her mum, and boyfriend Mickey. Only when Rose says “Help me” in the comatose Doctor’s ear, does he sit up, point his sonic screwdriver at the offending fir, and go back to sleeping it off.
With Doctor Who still a-snooze and the Sycorax planning to enslave the human race, a woebegone Rose hatches a plan to use the TARDIS to get out of Dodge. As she and Mickey hoist the Doctor on board, Jackie packs a lunch for what is sure to be a long trip. Ever British, she brings a thermos of tea. But when she goes back in the house to retrieve more things, the TARDIS is teleported to the hovering Sycorax spacecraft—taking Rose, Mickey, the Doctor, and the tea with it. Also on the alien craft, Harriet Jones, Prime Minister, and members of her staff.
The Sycorax
The interior of the vast vessel is a veritable Thunderdome, with Skeletors raging on the sidelines. The humans are trying their darndest to understand what the Sycorax leader is saying, but without the TARDIS translator, which is only operational when the Doctor is “in,” it all sounds Klingon to me…that is, until it starts working again! Jackie’s tea thermos spilled in mid-teleport and the superheated infusion of free radicals and tannins from the Earl Grey that dripped into the vortex of the ship was all Number Ten needed to wake up. Duh! “Did you miss me?” he says. And Rose realizes that he’s still the same Doctor.
But no one is saved just yet. The Sycorax leader won’t give up Earth so easily and a swordfight ensues—primitive violence, yes, but oddly more refreshing than being zapped by an overturned garbage can (I kid, Daleks! You’re the best at exterminating). Then in a single thrash, the Sycorax leader cuts off the Doctor’s right hand and tells him that he is his father…oh, wait. Wrong story. Luckily, being in mid-regeneration also means growing a new hand. Leave this planet and never return, the Doctor says to a defeated leader, who tries (and fatally fails) one last time to best him. “No second chances,” says our new Time Lord—his mantra for the rest of his term.
With the Sycorax in retreat, and the Doctor and friends back safely on the ground, Harriet Jones, Prime Minister (yes, we know who you are!), gives the orders to the mysterious Torchwood outfit to blow the spacecraft out of the sky. The Doctor has a Gallifrey-sized hissy fit. He looks her squarely in the face and tells her that he can destroy her with just six words, then walks over to her assistant and whispers, “Don’t you think she looks tired?” By day’s end, Harriet Jones, Prime Minister is run out of town on a rail.
The Doctor is back at the Tyler home. Gone is the leather jacket and in is the striped suit and Chuck Taylors. And everyone is eating dinner and pulling on Christmas Crackers. But there’s a vast universe out there just waiting to be explored. And Rose, now enthralled with the Doctor’s new incarnation, cannot wait to see it all.
The beginning of a beautiful friendship
What earns this episode the top spot is the Doctor’s passion, belief, and faith in humans—as he quotes The Lion King (“Look at these people: these human beings. Consider their potential. From the day they arrive on the planet, and blinking step into the sun. There is more to see than can ever be seen. More to do than – no, hold on . . .”) He sees that we’re imperfect, and it sometimes enrages him, but he remains fascinated with humanity’s potential—and being a 900-year-old alien, he ought to know.
And thus ends Suvudu’s Doctor Who Christmas Special Countdown. I hope you’ve enjoyed it. Thanks for reading. We still have a week left until The Doctor, The Widow, and the Wardrobe (where might that fall on our list?), but maybe you’re now inspired to pull those DVDs off the shelves or open up your instant streaming queue and watch all these specials once again. Here’s wishing you Happy Holidays, peace on Earth (and the rest of the galaxy), and a sonic screwdriver in your stocking on Christmas morning.
Camille Dewing lives and writes in New York City. Visit her website at www.WhatsCamilleDewing.wordpress.com.
